Let me give you a proper warning first.
This post is totally a random post. Totally.
Sebagai generasi yang lahir di awal 90an dan beberapa hari yang lalu baru saja memasuki usia 24 tahun, pemandangan yang akan sering saya lihat tersebar di lini masa sosial media adalah foto-foto tunangan / pernikahan / lahiran / akikahan anak teman-teman yang usianya sebaya atau selisih 1-2 tahun dengan saya. Sebenarnya tidak menjadi masalah. Happiness only real when shared, right? I’m totally happy with those pics.
Saya akui, kadang sedikit “iri” juga melihat teman-teman yang akhirnya menemukan partner hidupnya. Saya akui, saya bukan tipikal orang yang mudah menyukai seseorang dan parahnya lagi, saya juga tipikal yang susah move on kalau sudah “suka” sama seseorang. Love life is always this complicated for me. And to make it more complicated, there are a lot of priorities that I put before my love life. A lot.
Hari ini lini masa Path saya lagi-lagi dibanjiri foto acara tunangan, pernikahan, akikahan. Bahkan hari ini saya menghadiri acara pernikahan salah satu keluarga asuh saya di Fakfak. Well, there are a lot of weddings today. Lalu tiba-tiba sebuah pemikiran terlintas di benak saya. Saya pun refleks mengirimkannya ke grup Line yang berisikan sahabat-sahabat dekat.
“Gals, I know it’s a never ending topic. But somehow I think.. why we can’t be just as “normal” as other woman? Finished graduate school, engaged, get married.”
“Do we even put ‘getting married’ in our top 3 priorities in life? Because for me honestly, I want to, but it’s just not too much right now. Find your life’s partner is good, and marrying him is even better, but like there are a lot of other things I still want to do.”
Then I came up with another thought
“Or just forget what I said, the simple quest is, why my love life is so flat or sucks(?). Why no almost perfect man (or at least I thought so) come to me and make me want to marry him or simply want to stay beside me?”
I know people said, being normal is boring. But sometimes, when you’re living in (not so) normal life (or at least you think so), you have this little (or big) desire to feel what normal life looks like. Wait, even normal is a relative thing, isn’t it? (I already warned you, this is a totally random writing).
So, (forgive my mixed words, because I want to make it less ‘menye-menye’, so I write in english sometimes) like what most people think about me, or what my friends told me about what most people thought about me, I am that kind independent woman who had a lot of dreams to catch, and no need man in her life, or at least now. I am that very independent strong woman. I’m okay with that image actually. But, let me break down some points here.
Some of my bestfriends (and I), yes we are women with a lot of goals, higher dreams. Maybe it made us looks like feminist sometimes. But, trust us (or at least me), we also need man in our life (right, gals?). We (or at least me) want a man in our life not to complete our life, because frankly I can say even without man, we can do a lot of things in life, even for heavy work like “angkat galon”. We simply need a man to share parts in our life, things that already exist, with those who want to share them back.
We can live without man, I can living my life without man, but I just don’t want to. We just don’t want to. Okay, sometimes some of us pretend that we’re okay being single, a strong independent woman, or yeah sometimes that’s okay actually, but not all the time. It’s a very human nature to be with someone, to feel loved. But, because some of unfair stereotypes about women who want to be in relationships, people tend to think that us, that kind of strong independent women, didn’t need any man in our life. Or that we’re that kind of women who doesn’t bother to try a or two date. Whoever believe in those stereotypes, fu*k you.
For any woman out there, for my best friends, for my friends, for anyone who still struggling to catch her goals in life (including myself), after some reflections (see, I told you it’s totally a very random post), I came up with this conclusion :
Being a strong independent woman will not ruin your love life. It’s okay not to be in relationship right now just because there are a lot of priorities you need to do beside having a date. But it’s also okay to be in relationship while showing the society that you can achieve both, catch your dreams as a strong independent woman and having a good relationship with the man you like or love, it doesn’t make you any less strong independent woman (or feminist). And last but not least, for me (or other women), let’s not to worry about this, there will be a time for us, to find that kind of almost perfect man to share our life with, and vice versa. So, meanwhile we’re waiting, let’s do more awesome things and rock the world 😉
Kisses from Fakfak for any strong independent woman
images from google